i dont know the passcode to hotgirlsclub i miss my bffsssssss

Jan 23, 2007 So…I hate working. I’m making flash cards for Tibetan right now I told myself after I made eight I could start my pseudo blog to you guys. I say pseudo because I don’t have internet access so I’m writing this ahead of time. So I’m in a down mood which sucks because this is my first post to hot girls club but let me ramble. Everythings amazing. I just miss home. I already miss home. This is a first. But I think its because so much has happened in two weeks that makes it seem like its been a year. And for culture class we read this article that was basically bashing anyone that was a westerner in dharamsala… very disheartening. It kind of threw it in our faces that we aren’t special and it made me realize how hard this is going to be. I am more nervous than before about my research, or really I think I’m more nervous than ever about Tara Doyle reading my research. Egh. She’s something else. I can’t read her. Someone said she is bipolar and I believe it, she just makes me nervous because I have no idea what her deal is. Does she want to help us? Or just make us look stupid? And that list goes on and on. Hmm let me give you the break down of the crew. (ps ive been writing in the notebook, I hope I don’t cross reference too much…bare with me: ) ) Tara – head of the thing – women who interviewed and made me cry Emma Tobin – TA 24 years old – really really nice, amazing that she knows so much at such a young age. Amber – TA 28 to 30 years old. She’s also hard to read. If you ask her a question she looks really pissed off. Its weird. Pasangla – Tibetan side director of program Karmala – Tibetan side TA of program – nice, funny Students – Kimberly – she goes to UGA, sat next to her on the plane. I don’t think she likes me but actually the more I get to know her I think that might just be her personality Emily – Emory girl, really nice. Okay I’m stopping this now. I thought it would help yall to understand when I talk about people but now its just bothering me. Making a list I mean. Ill try to explain things as I type, but sometimes it gets hard because I wrote it in the notebook so…it just gets confusing. I have to pee so bad but…the effing squat toilets are terrible and the bathroom on our floor is terrible. If I walk up one floor it is soooo much nicer. The first floor bathroom is always soaking wet. It is disgusting. I usually try to walk to the other side of campus (which is smaller than oxford) to use the one western restroom that is open for us. There are three more connected to hot showers we can use but the restroom part of those aren’t really for public use. But yeah its so bad that I will take an extra ten minutes out of my day to walk to the western one. And squat toilets aren’t all bad they just don’t clean them well here I feel like or have a great plumbing system. I won’t write it here but when I get back remind me to tell you about what they wanted us to do with tampons. I listened to Britney this morning and it made my day better. I danced around my room for a good five minutes, after Sungmo had left. ————————————————————————— Oh Sungmo. Sungmo is my roommate. She has a crazy story..from what I can tell, I add that because the language barrier makes it harder than you would realize. Sungmo fled Tibet/china when she was ten. She walked across the Himalayas with her sister and a group of others. She hasn’t seen her parents or brothers since just her older sister. I was so shocked when she told me this, it was like an hour after meeting her and we were all having group chai and cake and she was just smiling and telling me the story. And I’m on the other side almost crying. Like I’m upset that I haven’t seen my friends or family in one week, how the hell does she deal so well…yeah its been years but it was so astounding to me. Side note: how bad is it that so many people are willing to risk there lives climbing over the Himalayas to Nepal then from Nepal getting into India (Tibetans can no longer cross the china/Tibet – India Border – they must go through Nepal to receive refugee/government in exile status) I didn’t think that it was so frequent that I would be roomed with someone that fled, I assumed most of the students had been born in exile. I was wrong. At least six of us are rooming with students who were born in Tibet. C r a z y. So sungmo and I get along pretty well, are schedules are so different that I feel like I never see her. She looked at my photos though and said that mike looks like handsome Indian boy and Eric is an Indian/American superhero/superstar. Girls only were described as pretty. So I moved in Saturday to my current room, before that we were living in the guest house on Sarah campus which was amazing. So we moved in. as I was unpacking my stuff sungmo moved everything, refolded everything, and rearranged everything so it was even. Our clothes are on open shelves..and I organized it by clothing type (capris together, long pants together, jackets, long shirts, scarves, undershirts…all in stacks.) she went back and refolded everything and made it so all the piles were even and added piles..it was different. Oh it was so weird because when I first came to the room the girl who was living in her previously was still moved in. it was really awkard. But turns out shes also hosting someone, Lara – (the girl that said hi to me on the shuttle one day and knew my name from religion class and I was really freaked out by. Turns out shes super sweet and very genuine.) (also I’m currently listening to regina spektor – tell Mallory I said hello and I miss her and I love the journal! – thanks corrie) anyways so behind our bed our three shelves. The highest shelve being about four inches taller than the bed. Well when I moving in I put all my shampoo and stuff on them, just organizing and such. Well sungmo and the other roommate freaked out and removed it all. It was very weird because I didn’t get it at first. Well turns out that the shelve was used as a shrine to the HH Dali lama (which is also a whole different philosophical/religion convo we can have when I get back when I understand it better – theres a big debate on shrines to him etc…) so because my shelves are actually part of a shrine I can only put books on it. Which I didn’t know…but I know now. Oh and then the old roomie/laras roomie was like you need to do prostrations (bowing..i explain it better in the next paragraph I think) three times everytime you enter and leave. And I was like whhhhhhhhhhhhhhat. And lara was really offended/confused. But I went along with it for a second. Then about an hour later when I was asking her about it again because I was confused about how to do it..i mean its not just bowing there are steps to it she was like you only have to do it when you wake up and go to sleep. But that night my roommate didn’t do it so I didn’t either because that would be awkward, I think. Especially if its not something I feel totally comfortable doing because I don’t completely understand why should I make it into an awkward moment when sungmo obviously doesn’t care enough to do it daily. Oh but heres where it gets fishy with Sungmo. Sunday everyone went up to mcleod ganj with their roommates. Sungmo and I went with Emily and her roommate/nun who is awesome. I’m going to refer to her as the nun/TN – now I know her name is Chunni because I can’t remember her name. please forgive me. But Chunni is amazing. She is sooooooo nice. And tries to take care of everyone, and made sure that we didn’t get ripped off. But anyways so we went up to mcleod ganj, which is a mix between Lasa – the capitol of Tibet and touristville. We were up there and we visited the dali lamas exile house and temple. (important preface: I was wearing my hiking boots and literally took me ten minutes to put them on. ) So when you go in temples you can not where your shoes. Socks, yes, shoes no. (Another important preface: its been raining/hailing for the past week so everything is wet and cold) so we went to the temple and we all went in. and sungmo made a huge ordeal about us doing full prostrations (bowing where your hold body is laying on the floor) to images of different buddhas and HH dali lama. So Emily and I both moderately complied, we didn’t lie down but we bowerd to our knees and our noses touched the floor. (Honestly usually this wouldn’t bother me that much but bowing to the Dali lama like that is a different subject completely…and the context she put it in…which is all to much for me to waste my time with now but if you are super confused I will try to explain it later) so then we put our shoes back on and walk around the temple to the other side where there is a second temple. I decide to not go in because of the shoe situation. Well I found out later that sungmo yelled at Emily about me not going in and then yelled at her because she didn’t want to bow. Then get this she says to Emily after she dropped a rupee in the donations box “oh so you don’t worship or bow you give money”. It was very weird. And could all be lost in translation but…ive def gotten comments from other people about how I have that roommate. Beh. Also let me reemphasize how much I love emilys roommate – gelsung formerly known as TN-The Nun now known as chunni. I just took the extra ten minutes to go to the restroom across campus because our bathroom is so nasty. Soooooooo nasty. I should take pictures and send you – its like out of SAW or something. And on my way back Gelsung called me into her room and we had a nice talk? I don’t know if I would call it talk because her English is definitely poorer than even Sungmo’s but we had a nice connection. Like I said before everyone has noticed how gelsung’s roommate really tries to connect with us and help us. Also she might be more informed because she is in/has had nun training..so her view could be different. ( in reference to why she didn’t ask us to bow but sungmo did) I washed my clothes two days ago. In a bucket. In 30-50 degree weather. That was fun. Not. Now they are hanging out to dry…still not dry…well see how that goes. This whole thing is definitely an experience. So whats the plan for us seeing each other this summer? Anyone living in Atlanta? Whats the situation? It is freezing here did I mention that? Im eating a pretty disgusting pack of chocolate cookies…but I want chocolate…bah Yeah just had another taste just like cheap chocolate cookies OMG everything is expired here. All cokes and packaged things that are American like twix or something. 8:25 p.m. in India 9:55 in Atlanta i’m getting paranoid that no one likes me..its weird. Maybe it’s a today thing..i don’t know. Tonight we meditated in the Dali Lama’s room on campus, with our nun – philosophy teacher it was really nice. We did two five minute sessions – each session felt like two minutes so that’s a good sign I think. But actually she told us not to talk about meditation so…I’m zipping my lips. Sometimes we have Tibetan 101 on the roof. Tibetan is not awful. Its funny because sometimes three different symbols have the same sound like, pa pa and pa. A kitten, a real kitten – older kitten but definitely not a cat yet just walked in our room meowed and ran away. I ran out to see if it was okay. It’s meowing a lot, I’m afraid its starving. I’ve never heard a cat sound like that except for the time I put a hair clip on my cats tail and it was pissed. So I brought it water because I don’t have food to give it. I don’t know where to buy cat food. It was really sad though listening to the car Sungmo and I just switched ipods. Its pretty awesome. The summer of 69 just came on. Amazing. Now everything I do, I do it for you song is on. I love their perception of America. Now the backstreet boys – backstreets back alright! Omg I miss yall! Lets have a dance party when I get back! And tell Vickie I said hey! Remind me to tell yall later about sungmo’s reaction to the Dali Lama saying that he might reincarnate as a woman. 1/26 – 5:30 pm ish We don’t have internet is pretty much the situation. We have ‘access’ to the internet but its never working. Which is awesome but sucks because I cant get in contact with amazing people like you. Request for corrie – address at clairmont for UPS/DHL packages. Last night and today I have been sick with a cold and fever. It kind of blows but I still went up to mcleod – the village up the hill for the day with Emily and Mkayla. It was a good day. I bought a jacket, which was great because I only brought my emory hoodie and its freezing here. —-yeah stupid mood. But you know I didn’t start really packing until the night of and I had SUCH LIMITED ROOM ITS DISGUSTING. I thought I overpacked and everyone else brought so much more than me. Which is nice to actually be one of the ones who ‘packed light’ but theres a lot I wish I would have brought. Like for example thermal socks, real gloves (not dollar target one), and more jackets. Oh the sketchiest thing happened today on our way to mcleod ganj – the taxi driver stopped in the middle of the road a women came up with a huge wad of money – gave it to him and then we drove off. No words were exchanged. Sooooo shady. This cough sucks – I’m sitting in our lounge aka fort USA as Emily calls it which is so true. Currently – until spring break we have our classes in the hostel/guest house. This area includes our kitchen – where we eat breakfast and three dinners, a class room where we take philosophy and Tibetan 101, and the lounge/library which is where we have culture class. We all kind of migrate here for many reasons. One of which being that there are two heaters in here. This campus / India that I have experienced is not heated. Not heated. At all. Freezing. But my sleeping bag is amazing. I love it. Its for 15 degree weather and it keeps me warm and toasty. I talked to Corrie earlier today which was awesome, I want to know more about whats going on in the states!! Soo – the group..everyones really awesome, really great dynamics except for ali/alex. She has two names that she goes by that should be a red flag already. Just pick one. But yeah shes very abrasive. She’s already gotten in two or more fights with people. She likes to tell people what to do, blame things on other people, get people in trouble, and such up. Oh and shes a huge flirt. That part is kind of really funny. But everyone else is great. Boy update: Vishal is so cute. Its really funny actually and you two can relate to this I think, yesterday and the day before he was really sick so he didn’t comb his hair or even get ready at all I guess and I thought he looked even cuter/almost hot because he was all rough and scruffy.. OHHH and the boys here are not quick to shave because the water sucks. Hot water is not easily accessible. To get you have to walk across campus and the bathrooms are disgusting. DISGUSTING. I think I already mentioned that. So yeah the boys are scruftastic. I have a three page paper due Monday that everyone around me is working on…or at least pretending to work on but I’m writing yall. Because I like you so much more. Emily and I’s thinking was we would rather do something when we are procrastinating like go to mcleod instead of stare at our computer all day and not get anything done. We were able to purchase cough drops, a surge protector because both of ours have broken in the past week, and a coat for me. Yay. Seriously its so effing cold here. Except the weirdest thing happened. The Himalaya moutains are behind us and they have been pretty much covered with snow, but what feels like over night most of that snow has disappeared. Which is sad, they were pretty with snow. I’m so much weirder here. Side note: Britney spears – piece of me is my comfort song right now. I feel like I have been here forever I’m really worried about whats going on home/PMSing now so its not a good emotional state to be in. Sarah Hazan and I have been having heart to hearts even though we don’t hang out that much on the trip we have had like three really intense conversations. Last night we had an amazing conversation about crazy things that have happened in the past. We talk in the same way. Which makes me realize how much I talk. So I apologize for my huge mouth. That’s one of the things I really want to work on is talking less. I feel like my whole sense of being is different here. We need to figure out how you two can send me music. This is very important. There has to be an easy way to do it through the internet/email. Oh and more about the roommate situation Friday night we had a huge group dinner all of the programs students and their roommates. We were asking about how they got roommates and Sungmo said her teacher forced her to have one. And Emily and I just looked at each other and could not stop laughing because everything made so much since all of a sudden…it was a great moment. Oh today some crazy man on the street poked me with his triton. I’m not kidding. He like knighted me with his triton as I was walking in front of him. Wow we are a bunch of nerds on this trip. Its Saturday night and there are 15 of the 19 of us are in the lounge “studying” – cutting up. what the fuck is going on with the hills and tila tequila?? And I’m missing project runway and the real world? Keep me updated!!! : ) Sunday Jan 27 2007 So it’s 4:16 in the afternoon. I have a three page paper due tomorrow…let me tell you how much I have done. An intro paragraph and like two typed single spaced pages of notes. How unlike me is this? Its weird. But I think I’m working earlier for two main reasons. Everyone else is, so its freaky and we don’t really have control of our own schedule and when we can work because the dorm is loud and cold as fuck. The lounge is always a party except for in the afternoon, so really its always a party at night. So I have to work when its available, ya know? Procrastinating makes my heart grow fonder of home. What if I leave this program a morning person. Weird. I doubt it though. I say this because we always have to get up at least by seven because the dorms are so effing loud. Like people have no problem yelling and banging on other peoples dorms at seven in the morning on a weekend so you can imagine a school day…. For example when I’m sleeping in the morning at seven am sungmo and here heard of friends come in and have a chat fest while im sleeping. They don’t even give a damn. This has happened to other girls too but we think its just a different kind of morning etiquette. But it gets old. Ahh I have a full blown cold now. Blah. Sneezing and everything. Wednesday Jan 30, 2007 So ive missed two fieldtrips and two days of school because of my illness. That blows. But I feel much better now so I’m glad I took the time off to sleep for two days. I could have gone today but I didn’t want to push myself too much, ya know? Everyone’s going out of town this weekend and I want to go…super badly but I don’t know if its smart for me to go health wise. Blah. We will see what I do. Being sick in India is the worst thing ever. Seriously. No central heating. No comfyness. The beds here are hard as rocks. No best friends to talk too. But I mean they made it as healthy/comfy for me as possible. I moved back to the guest house so I could have my own bathroom (that’s not a squat toilet. Fuckyeah.) and they moved one of the heaters from class in here. I had dvds to watch but I pretty much slept for 48 hours with occasional breaks. I didn’t eat anything for a day and a half and couldn’t really hold down water. History of the sickness: I was getting a cold on Sunday like I mentioned and for dinner or lunch I forget which a bunch of us went to the canteen on campus which is a restaurant where you pay for your meal if you don’t want rice and daal in the cafeteria. Well we all went and three of us got meat momos – Tibetans version of the dumpling…even though I was the only one to get sick from it I swear it was the meat momos…so I’m pretty sure I’m going to go more veg now on the trip. Meats just so delicious here!!!! But yeah that night I vommitted a lot and then the next days were bahhhhhhh. And I slept a lot. But yeah so now im in the hostel…trying to move out but my real rooms locked so I had to sit everything on emilys bed. Sungmos going to be back there at 12:30 I think..so I’m going to head over then. But yeah trust me when I say being sick here sucks so much. And it made me miss everything about America.

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